Black and White

My mother loves to talk about growing up in Brooklyn, New York. “I'm a New Yorker!” she still reminds us from her home in Maryland. That it's been 70 years since she last called New York home is another matter. According to Mom, once a New Yorker, always a New Yorker.

Visiting Mom this week, I popped into a local bakery for some fresh bread and couldn't resist buying her a black-and-white cookie. This cookie — a sweet, cakey, delectable disc coated in vanilla and chocolate frosting — is a classic New York treasure, even when it's baked in Maryland. Black-and-whites have been stocked in bakeries, bagel shops and bodegas for over a century. Some even stock them by the check-out, tempting shoppers with an impulse buy, a regular cling-wrappered-delight.

According to an article by William Grimes that I dug out from the New York Times, “Technically, the black-and-white is not a cookie but a drop cake. The batter resembles the batter for a cupcake, with a little extra flour so that the dough does not run all over the place…”

So is it a cake or a cookie? Maybe it's not so black-and-white after all.

All of this talk about black-and-whites has me wondering how you make decisions. You might even say I'm hungry to know more.

When considering a big decision, professional or personal, how do you separate the facts from the feelings? Is the desire to keep up with others clouding appreciation for what you already have, or maybe fear of failure is preventing you from applying past success to future prospects?

How do you differentiate the story in your head from data that's in front of you? The subjective opinion from the objective facts?

As your coach, I'll work with you to see the facts more clearly, and compare those facts to the narrative in your head. Together, we'll dive into patterns around your behavior and decision making so you can decide what information is helpful to you and what is not.

My job isn't to tell you what to do or how to do it; it's to help you assess available information so that the decisions you make are sound.

And when you do? That's the real treat. Positively delicious!

Ready to get started?

Work in Progress

Have you ever caught up with an old friend after many months or even years, and felt like no time had passed? I love that feeling.

Time introduces a mixed bag of elements into long-term friendship, although I suppose the same could be said of any years-long relationship. These elements can bring you closer, or test the foundation on which your relationship stands. I'm thinking of new partners, bad dates, marriage, financial fluctuations, the pickleball craze, a new home in a posh part of town, kids (fur babies included), fitness goals, declining health, vegetarianism, alcoholism, cancer, career trajectory, or a passion project that unleashes a long-dormant sense of meaning and purpose. 

In other words, I'm thinking of all the things that change us as people, from the good to the not-so-good.  

While out to dinner recently a good friend asked if I think people can change — on purpose — to which I answered yes, but with one important caveat. The person has to want to change. At least that's my experience. 

I've been noodling over this and other questions for a while now, coming up with more questions than conclusions. Like what constitutes change, and how quickly does it happen. Maybe it's on a continuum, and we are all just work in progress.

It has me wondering what you think you about change, and maybe what you would like to change for yourself.

What does it take for you to initiate new behaviours, personally and/or professionally?

How do you respond to external suggestions or prodding? Or when you notice others advancing in ways you yourself would like to advance?

What space do you allow for yourself when embarking on change; or do you impose strict parameters and time-frames as a method of personal accountability? Is it working?

As your coach, it's not for me to tell you what behaviors you need to amend or why. My role is to accompany you as you set out to make tweaks, edits and alterations in your life, whether minor, major, or somewhere in between. I'll ask the questions to help you see more clearly what needs to happen in order for you to move forward, in a way that feels right for you. 

Whether it results in permanent change or not, I can't make any promises. Perhaps we just agree that it's work in progress. Nothing wrong with that.  

Ready to get started?