Mulled Fireworks

Happening right now, approximately 13 miles from my house, is a spectacular display of Christmas decorations complete with life-size nutcrackers, twinkling lights, and people in wool caps enjoying mulled wine beside a crackling fire. It's Christmas in July.

While family and friends in America fired up the barbecues today and dined at outdoor tables adorned in red, white and blue, I watched through the window as a neighbor scraped morning frost off her car. Fourth of July in the Southern Hemisphere has a different feel to it. Less burgers and dogs, more deck-the-halls. Also, we're a day ahead, so it's already July 5th.

I was 41 when I moved overseas, and old enough to feel strongly about annual customs to which I had grown not just accustomed, but attached. 

I would sooner walk under a ladder in front of a black cat while opening an umbrella indoors before abandoning my lifelong traditions. Tradition to me feels like a distant cousin of superstition, something that feels important for reasons we can't always explain. Forsake it at your own peril.

But living in places where my customs and traditions aren't the norm means I've had to adjust my expectations over the years, as well as my practices. Going door to door singing Christmas carols feels weird in the summer when it doesn't get dark until 10pm. I'm sure my neighbors would agree. Christmas now takes shape in the form of a hike up the mountain with the dog, champagne, and a picnic. It's nothing to complain about.  

All of this has me wondering what you think about traditions, or other established practices, and what meaning they have to you. I'm wondering how you feel about tweaking those traditions as your life changes, your kids grow up, or the people in your life move on while new customs and practices take hold. 

What happens when you set aside the feelings or emotions attached to your established practices? How hard — or easy — do you find it to let go, or to make changes? 

Perhaps it's not a practice or behavior you're holding on to, but a way of thinking or a mindset. Changing thought patterns can be hard, sure, but what if that mindset is no longer working for you? How can you tell?

As your coach, it's not my place to tell you what to let go of or what to hold on to. My role is to help you see how your thoughts are influencing your behaviors, to see more clearly what is working and what is not, so that you can decide on the changes you want to make.  

Reach out if this sounds like something you would like to explore, I would love to hear from you. 

In the meantime, I'll be enjoying a mulled wine by the fire. July…it's the most wonderful time of the year.  

Pinch Point

It pains me to think of this, but there is an entire generation of people rising through the ranks of life right now who will never know the experience of stopping to ask for directions.

Road trips in my day involved a lot of planning so as to avoid getting lost. This involved paper maps which the front-seat passenger would unfold at key junctures and spread across the dashboard confirming the journey was on track, the route marked early in the planning stage by fluorescent yellow highlighter. It was a project.

Now Siri estimates our ETA down to 0.1 of a second warning us of any potential delays, from cattle crossing to disabled vehicles.   

Traffic annoys me. Even with Siri as a co-pilot it's a forgone conclusion that any road trip will encounter a jam of some sort. Knowing this doesn't make it any less annoying. I get tense when I see brake lights en masse, or maybe a silent but flashing police siren indicating trouble ahead. 

There is a traffic term for when cars are forced to slow down and merge, before eventually feeding back into all lanes and picking up speed again. It's called the pinch-point. The place or point where congestion occurs, or is likely to occur. 

The pinch point often brings up feelings of discomfort or inconvenience. Yes, it certainly does.

If you've been reading my newsletters for a while now, you can probably guess the direction I'm driving this communication. Are you new here? Then buckle up.

When it comes to your life, career, or relationship, what is your pinch point? Where or when do things get congested, forcing you to slow down?

How do you mitigate the congestion, or prepare for the feelings that accompany it?

How do you work through it, and get things flowing again?

As your coach, I would love to help you identify the pinch points in your life and career, helping you get ahead of possible challenges and periods where the everyday feels like a struggle. 

Or perhaps you're there now — feeling stuck, like earlier progress has come to a halt. Either way, my job is to help you move through it, get you back on track and sailing in the right direction. 

Ready to get started? I'll bring the yellow highlighters.